Perfectionism...hum?!? This one is one that I know far too well. And as hard as it is for me to admit it, I took much pride in attempting to be perfect for far too many years. I honestly thought that if I could physically relate to the world that I had it all together (perfection), the less that I would have to face the fact that I was actually falling apart completely on the inside. Due to my insecurity in EVERYTHING, perfectionism was the one convected goal that my heart wanted so desperately to achieve. The sad fact about trying to achieve perfection is that it is IMPOSSIBLE...as humans we all fall short of the glory (and perfection) of God!!! In my quest in trying to constantly obtain this impossible goal, I created the perfect breeding ground for a life filled with insecurity. Thoughts like..."I will never be good enough, useful enough, competent enough, pretty enough, quick-minded enough,_____, ______, ______ enough..." consumed me each day.
Well, friends, in God's grace, He and I are making progress in both of these areas of perfectionism and insecurity!!!! When He first laid this women's Bible study and ministry on my heart, it took me an entire YEAR before I suggested anything to Bro. Scott because I was waiting for someone else to step up to this plate to do it! When I did go to Bro. Scott and suggest the need for a women's ministry at CrossPoint, I full-heartedly wanted him to suggest someone to me that he thought would be the perfect woman for the job. Well...the person that he suggested was FAR FAR from perfect...and was terribly insecure...and had baggage...and had her own issues...and was pregnant(good grief)!!!! Couldn't God have waited until I had my own act together before He asked me to do this!?! I never could have imagined in my wildest dreams that through this ministry, God would use it as a tool to help me get over myself! He has taught me that those in ministry are a far cry from perfect, but it is He who is made perfect through them! Ladies, it's not about us...it is about HIM IN US!!!
So our question is...
"Name ways a continued stronghold of perfection could be a severe detriment to your destiny."
I am a constant work in progress. And through this ministry, God is pressing from me to become more and more transparent with you. I am a far cry from perfection...but these days, progress is the goal that is far more important to me!!!
Love y'all,
Macki
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6 comments:
Perfection is a severe detriment to me fulfilling or even seeking to know my destiny because it is a futile pursuit. No matter how hard I try, nothing ever works out the way I intend. Sometimes, it works out to be better but that's usually a fluke and I can't take credit. Most often it goes awry and leaves me feeling useless and frustrated. So, because I'm a pessimistic person to begin with, my attitude has become "Why bother?" So, I'm happy just to fill my days trying desperately to hang on and just survive.
Perfectionism is a severe detriment to my destiny because i will as we all know never be PERFECT ! i struggle with this very much . i try and try every day and with every thing i do to be perfect knowing that i wont be ! its a vicious cycle that i am trying hard to work on .I know in my heart that what matters to God most is our heart and our obidience like our homework said , but it is a work in progress .
I have such a desire to make everything perfect! I just held a girls weekend for the girls in our church, and my attitude was definitely "why bother" if everything wasn't going to be perfect. Even to the point that I had nightmares this week that all of the cute heart decorations were not properly put in place by our start time Friday night! How ridiculous of me to think that God showing up during the weekend had anything to do with me hanging decorations in the perfect spot!
I think sometimes I let the attitude of why bother doing it if I don't have the time to do it perfectly and exactly like I think it should be done get in the way. Please note how many times I is used in the previous sentence. Perfectionism, for me, gets in the way of my destiny because I let my desires stand in the way of God's desires for me. I have a tendency to put things off He is calling me to do, thinking that could not possibly be what God is calling me to do. Which is a definite detriment to my destiny.
Perfectionism is a severe detriment to my destiny because its taking me away from the bigger picture and my future. I am in such a rush to have everything so perfect and planned out that when it doesnt happen I get discouraged and say why bother. I worry too much about what other people think about my life instead of really thinking what God thinks of my life and not focusing on what he has in store for my destiny.
I will say this hit me very HARD! I know that very few people in the study have spent enough time with me to know that I get physically sick when things happen out of my control. It sounds like I'm being extreme but its true. I literally throw up when things happen that weren't in my perfect plan for how things should be. (bless brooks's heart, he is so NOT perfect!) and the more I realize how imperfect I am the better we get along! Fighting perfectionism has been a life challenge for me. I have always thought if I wasn't the best I may as well lay down and die. I don't know where it came from because I was raised to feel quite the opposite, but finally realizing I have a PROBLEM has been the first step. I have missed out on so many things God has wanted me to do that I can't even imagine where I would be now if I had surrendered my "perfect plan" for my life. But PRAISE GOD I have seen the light!!!! I now know I can not control everything and I learn it more and more everyday as I experience motherhood! It has fulfilled a part of me I never knew was missing and for the first time in a long time I think God has shown me I don't have to be perfect to be happy and I don't have to be perfect for Him to bless me beyond my wildest dreams!
I try to make everything fall into place with my life, friends and even my students. But then i think to myself, everything happens for a reason. just leave it to God Ronda. and with my students...well they are 5 years old!!! of course they aren't going to be perfect. When i graduated high school, i pictured my life to totally different. after graduating from college i would be married and by this age i would be thinking about having kids. boy was wrong! i am still waiting for prince charming and no where near having kids. life isn't perfect and i have learned that finally. i still constantly worry about how things will turn out. I just need to leave it all to God and i have to constantly remind myself of that everyday.
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